Some birth mothers who have health insurance and good jobs and can afford rent or live with parents or with boyfriends will not ask for financial assistance. Others are poor and will need your help. State laws dictate how much you can help your birth mother with expenses such as food, rent, medical care, gas, and maternity clothing. So you’ll want to make sure to check with your adoption attorney about allowable expenses.
Adoption expert and founder of Lifetime Adoption Mardie Caldwell has a lot of experience with the topic of birth mother expenses.
Here are her top 7 tips on birth mother expenses:
- Deposit money into a trust fund with your adoption attorney for paying birth mother expenses.
- If your birth mother asks for payments not allowed by state law, let your adoption professional be the “bad guy.” Keep your distance from big money issues.
- If allowable by law, many attorneys will allow you to pay minor incidental expenses out of your own pocket (the types of things you might buy for a friend).
- If working with an agency, your social worker will usually handle all aspects of paying birth mother expenses.
- Use an adoption professional who will help your birth mother get state aid for medical care, WIC, and other state-funded help before asking you to help with pregnancy medical expenses.
- Some birth mothers are reticent to ask for help, so be caring and concerned: ask if she needs it.
- When your state laws allow gifts, buy your birth mother a small present or two to show your appreciation and acknowledgement that what she is doing for you is special.
Source: Adoption: Your Step-by-Step Guide by Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P.