Keys to Adoption Success

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4. Don't try to be perfect. You don't have to learn everything at once. Just think about what would help your results and pick that topic. Start with adoption terms, and then move on to adoption law in your state. (You can do a search for current law by entering into your browser “California family law” or go to Legal Information Institute, Cornell Law School.) When you find something you have questions about, write it down, research it and ask others. Again, don't try to be faultless. Just take it one step (or topic) at a time. When we were adopting, I took one hour a day and devoted it to learning about adoption. I did this by reading, speaking to others that had adopted, and seeking out adoption professionals.

5. As you are doing this, you will find you are saving money. The money you put into reading books will more than save you in legal costs, errors in decision making, spotting red flags in an adoption, and save you at least four times what you might spend on tapes and seminars. At the end of your adoption, you will look at the total amount you spent on learning about adoption and how much value you acquired for the money.

I also have noticed that the informed family makes better decisions, is less stressed, and communicates better with birth parents. They have a much better overall experience in their adoption than those that did very little to understand the adoption process and what birth parents are feeling and wanting in an adoption. It's an amazing investment.

6. Select the best and most qualified adoption professionals to work with. Judge the value, not the price. Often, the higher priced tried and true adoption professional with a proven track record of success will give you much more value and less heartache than someone less expensive, which, in fact, can be a comparative bargain. Compare services and successes and take your time when doing your research. Just a few weeks of research can pay off tremendously. Always check with the Better Business Bureau for referrals.

7. Have fun. Learning is fun -- enjoy the process. Moving closer to your dream of successful adoption is possible and attainable. Start today, you’ll never regret the experience.

By Mardie Caldwell, COAP, founder of Lifetime Adoption.
Adoptive mother, author, and radio talk show host at Lets Talk Adoption

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