The Miracle of Adoption

Before we married, when we were sharing how many children we hoped to have, we naively said we’d “have a couple” and “adopt a couple.”  For years, we dreamed of being parents, of raising children, of teaching them and playing with them and doing all the other things we saw so many other parents doing with their children – from taking them out to a ball game or to the zoo to even the not so much fun things like changing a diaper or consoling a child who just had bumped their head – things that parents are so privileged to be able to do.  We hoped for children from the beginning of our marriage and when we had been married for a couple years, with no sign of any children, we started looking for answers from our doctor.

Adoption had been in our awareness:  we both had cousins who had been adopted.  After years of on and off treatment for infertility, we started to look into adoption.  We ultimately signed on with an agency (not Lifetime) which advertised in our church bulletin.  But three and a half years later of waiting, hoping and praying had us wondering if our ages had been a problem –  there had been a few hopeful situations during that time but we were seemingly no closer to adopting than we had been when we’d started the process, but had gotten another three years older!

Each year in December we would evaluate if we would continue on the adoption track.  We remained open to adoption but also thought maybe we had ‘misheard’ our calling and started preparing our lives to be foster parents for older children. 

At the same time, we researched a few facilitators.  We decided to give adoption one final big push and opened ourselves up to a broader population of women by signing on with Lifetime in addition to the agency we were already contracted with. 

We chose Lifetime after visiting them in February 2007.  We liked the support they offer the birth mothers.  We signed on and within the month of sending in our contract, our daughter Christina came to us through our original agency.  After actively trying to adopt for three and a half years, it does color your every day.  When you plan a vacation, you don’t want it to be somewhere you can’t get back from if you get ‘the call.’  You consider the possible children when you buy a car.   We met Christina's birthmother in person and after talking awhile, she said she wanted Corinne in the delivery room and for John to cut the cord.  Here we were: ‘chosen!’ 

Anyway, when things happened the way they did, we figured that Christina was meant to have a sibling! After Christina's arrival, we decided to take advantage of a nine month hold with Lifetime.  Within a month of coming off hold, we were matched with Jennarose’s birthmother.  She had particularly liked a photo of Christina dancing with John on our Lifetime website and had remarked that our daughter was “precious.”  Her reasons for liking us definitely spoke to our hearts! 

From the first time we spoke, she felt a comfort that made her decide she wanted us.  Each contact we had after that, made her feel more and more comfortable with her decision and with us. When we stopped at Babies 'R Us to pick up the necessities and the "coming home outfit," we realized “this is REALLY happening!!”   Jennarose's birthmother welcomed Corinne into the delivery room.  Corinne was able to give her updates, of when Jennarose was halfway out, all out but her head, and then all the way out, looking exquisitely beautiful!

Corinne feels incredibly blessed to have witnessed the births of both daughters and to have gotten to stay at the hospitals with their birthmothers and care for her babies from the beginning. Maybe hearing Corinne's voice cross over with their first mothers’ eased their transition into our family.

Adoption is both a mystery and a miracle in many ways. Adoption has allowed us to be what we could not be just by ourselves, namely to be a ‘mommy and daddy’.   This one word - daddy - has become a new wonder-filled title John is most grateful to have. It is full of joy, rich with blessings and crowned with pride. Whenever he hears our daughters calling him daddy, he knows he's not dreaming anymore.

With the arrival of our first child, our daughter Christina two years ago, and then most recently last month when our second girl Jennarose was born, we realize and our friends can see our lives have been forever changed for the better emotionally, physically and spiritually. The privilege of parenthood has been given to us through this miracle called adoption.  While some might consider parenthood routine or even take it for granted, we are riding a wave of sheer delight that we waited a long, long time to catch.

All this has been made possible for us because two exceptional women, each made very extraordinary choices - first to choose life - to give their babies their God-given birthright and secondly, they chose us – John and Corinne - to raise their children as our own, to be mommy and daddy forever for their babies. By the Grace of God, they have allowed us to create the family we hoped and prayed for and dreamed possible for over 17 years! 

God gave us patience and strength to continue when months turned into years, then somehow days quickly turned into just minutes; to get through tough economic times. ‘Jesus I trust in you’ became a daily mantra. We chose to have an open adoption with each of our birthparents. Open adoption means that the biological parent has the right to select the parents for their child. They can choose what amount of contact is acceptable for them (from just photos or phone calls to visits) and how often contact is desired from month to month or year to year or even less often. It’s all ‘open’ for discussion, and the children are not hidden or prevented from knowing the truth.

From everything we have experienced as parents, so far, we could not be happier with our adoption story. For us, the gift of Christina’s presence, as well as the presence of our new baby Jennarose in our lives means God loves us and desires for us to have the experience of sharing His love as parent to child.

-John & Corinne